To the students I have failed

I give up.

I cannot force you to read, do your homework or sit hours listening to what I have to say.  You cannot do anything else but deal with me because they say this is your last chance. I do not follow you home just as the sun begins to set, where you walk your own path and have to pick shortcuts because you try to avoid the unavoidable.

I don’t have my chest burn as sweetly as yours when you take a slow drag and release air built up for years. I do not know you, and don’t want to know you.

Sit down and watch me carefully as I take the dry eraser marker and ‘teach’. Watch the scars I paint on the whiteboard and slowly realize, that I, have fooled myself into loneliness. You will see that I am tired, that I do not care and bother, and that oftentimes, I find a likely target like you and release that frustration. You will see that I am someone who believes that if one is angry at me, they do a better job than if they weren’t angry at me.

Go steadily at your own pace. Know that you own the ground you walk on and skies you walk under. You have the right to follow whom you please, and sit and jump and sleep and laugh whenever you like. As you patch up your own wings and fly, know that people like me are also trying to understand the world just like you do.

I want you to fly and never slow down.

I want you to be the one who says,

“I’ve risen up even when others thought I’d come down.”

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